just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
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