OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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