who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
