I don't remember. Are we still dating?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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