I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
