Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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