There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
you win again, gameday.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
being pregnant is like rehab
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You were trust falling into bushes
Damn victory sex feels great
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize