I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I don't deserve a penis
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
