he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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