she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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