we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
