I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
