Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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