My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize