i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
