He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
