Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
