I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
