He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
3 2 1 whiskey
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize