I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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