one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
