So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize