I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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