I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
