the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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