what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
