the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
