He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
