i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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