I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
