so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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