Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Randomize
