Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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