i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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