I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
