My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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