Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
