When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
