I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize