Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
