whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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