do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
