i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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