hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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