Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
