It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
