i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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