I've blown a few things in my day
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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