What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
