Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
We have started to decorate penises.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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