Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
