So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
