Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
