so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Randomize
