Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
