Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
