You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
