Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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